Virginity Myths Debunked

As I have two papers to write this week, I do not have time to write a full entry (although my final papers are causing me to think about a lot of things I'd like to share!) but I had to share this article on debunking virginity myths. There was a "Rethinking Virginity" conference at Harvard; oh how I wish I could have attended! I wanted to share these myths because I think it is very important to realize how the majority of discourses surrounding virginity are rooted in heteronormativity (and really what good has come from keeping to the heteronormative?) and are more harmful than not. I wish I could write more, but the women at Feministing who attended the conference outline some of these very nicely.

Happy finals if you are as buried as I am.

Right to Choose

So I've decided to finally dive into that controversial mess that surrounds abortion because I am running into the issue everywhere, and am considering applying for an internship dealing with reproductive choice. We'll see what happens with that seeing as I hate committing to things and prefer to put off big life decisions much to the chagrin of myself and my parents. Anyway, here's my two cents; this is truly one of those things I could argue about for hours but I will do my best to keep this concise.

Abortion is one of the most frequently tossed around womens' issues because pregnancy belongs solely to women. I have battled with this issue over the years because there can be no denying that a life hangs in the balance. However, pro-life groups focus solely on this life that has not yet matured to a viable age, and their only concern is for the life of this fetus over everything else. Nobody is pro-abortion; nobody is out there asking all pregnant women to kill their fetuses to improve the world. What I am for however, is a woman's right to control her own body. A woman has every right to decide whether she wants to devote her body to a fetus for 9 months, and then possibly to a child for the rest of her life. A baby is a huge responsibility and not every woman is prepared to handle that - she has a right to make that decision.

Encouraging adoption over abortion does not eliminate the fact that this woman is going to be greatly affected for the next 9 months of her life, and it is her decision whether or not she wants her life to change. There has been a debate on my favorite Feministing blog lately over the "Abortion Changes You" ads in NY which elicited a blogger's critique of Feministing over their support for abortion out of convenience. The women at Feministing replied the same way I do - why shouldn't women get abortions out of convenience?! Isn't it a woman's right to choose her education and career options and to prioritize her life goals? Shouldn't that mean she can decide when and if she wants to have a child? It is not necessarily a question of whose life is worth more, but whether she wants to compromise her life for a fetus she does not want. A woman has a right to her own chance at self-improvement instead of falling into a dead-end job because instead of going to college she has to take care of a baby.

At my university in the fall there was a huge anti-choice display in the mall area comparing abortion to the genocide of the Jews in WWII with graphic pictures of fetuses and concentration camps. This was an outrage. I do not know what groups were in charge of this display, but it was offensive to Holocaust (and indeed any genocide) survivors and their families, women who had abortions, and people like myself who realized their assertion was unfounded and disgusting. Genocide, as defined by the genocide convention after WWII, is defined as the purposeful extermination of a portion of a population based on ethnicity, race, religion, etc. The definition has its complexities, but in no interpretation can abortion be seen as genocide. So not only was I offended by the grotesque images I was subjected to, but also by their false assumptions.

If you want to argue abortion is murder, I can accept that. However, murder is truly not the issue at hand, the issue in question is a woman's control of her own body. Nobody can regulate the rest of her bodily functions or what she choose to put in or take out of her body. A woman can crash diet, she can get plastic surgery, she can choose to live off of McDonald's, she can use tampons, she can give blood, she can take vitamins, she can use birth control, she can take fertility treatments. If nothing else about her body is regulated and fought over, why can she not decide to have a baby or not without being vilified and condemned? A woman has the right to be able to choose what to do with her body, and she has the right to legal and safe abortions. Pathologizing abortion will only force it underground where more blood will be shed, so even the "value of life" argument falls short.

While there are valid points to the pro-life faction, there is a difference between being pro-life, and being anti-choice. Thinking about ending the life of an individual, even of a partially developed fetus, makes me queasy. I do not support violence or murder; I am pro-life. When it comes to abortion however, I am pro-choice.

Not Alone in Anger

While engaged in my regular perusing of my favorite blog site at Feministing, I found a post that is dealing with the issue of anger which I touched on in my post this afternoon. I share this to prove I am not the only one trying to figure out how to express my feminist ideas in a world where "feminist" is is associated with "feminazi," but also because if anyone else is dealing with the same problem - self censorship - some of the comments are helpful. Our society has an obsession with finding what "normal" is, and I am happy to report my reaction is normal!

Don't be an iDiOtTtT

Today I was browsing through blogs in hopes of stumbling upon something of interest. I found some random humorous posts, but nothing worth following regularly. I do not care about random people's weddings and their attempts at pregnancy, or meals they are trying to cook. Reading about the lives of people I know is one thing, but not all random people have interesting things to say.

That being said, what really made me click to the next blog was poor grammar, spelling, and writing in general. The most annoying blog being this one. I understand random spelling mistakes will make their way into writing, especially in blogs where little to no editing takes place. So fine, I cut you some slack. Neither do I care deeply about ending a sentence with a preposition or the misplacement of a comma. However, do not fail to capitalize "I," do not write LiKe ThIs, do not add extra lettersss, or leave out vwls. These make no sense! Saying "heyy" does not make me feel like you are more excited to say hello to me; it looks like a typo and you look like an idiot.

I have a problem with idiots. Some idiots cannot spell, some idiots are chauvinistic, some idiots fall over drunk, some idiots pick fights, some idiots use 50 coupons for items they did not purchase. Some people just don't know anything. Idiots are found everywhere; this is very disheartening. After working in retail, I realized how stupid people really can be; customers really represent the epitome of stupidity, and my Target friends and I could (and do) rant for hours about our "guests" and their issues. Come to think of it that really should have been its own entry, but oh well. During my blog browsing, I came across this blog where the author comments on latin tattoos, and also makes a critique on the people who seek them.

I was also struck by the stupidity of some people after reading the "anti-feminist mailbag" on Feministing. This section is basically the hate-mail these women receive, and based upon my brief foray, is made up of ignorant comments. Luckily the Feministing women have a sense of humor and add fabulous commentary; they really are wonderful people.

Everyone needs to rant once in a while, this was my outlet.

This Thing Called Feminism

I have recently discovered a wonderful blog at feministing.com and if you are at all interested in feminism, you MUST check it out. There is a team of women who run the site, but there is also a community blog where members can post and comment and a lot of good discussions get started. I found this blog because a feministing panel is coming to the University for a discussion and presentation, so I looked into who they were and what they thought and fell in love. While I by no means agree with everything people post, it certainly makes me think about things. It also brings up variance in feminist opinions which I feel is not recognized by many.

So what is feminism? It's hard to explain and I feel most people have different definitions. I remember talking about it in my first GWSS (Gender Women Sexuality Studies) class as we wrote down all the things that came to mind, among them: bra-burning, pissed off, butch, lesbian, crazy women! Now as I self-identify as a feminist I fear these are the things people attach to me, when that is just simply not the truth. Any woman who is not a feminist simply hasn't encountered the right feminist thought, because all women should be opposed to the inequalities we face because of our sex. I say this because I used to laugh at feminists before I knew anything about the actual beliefs; I figured, stop whining and get over it, you can vote and work.

Women make only 70 cents for every dollar a man at the same job level earns. Telling a boy he throws like a girl is an insult. There still exists the ideology that women should raise children and do the cooking and cleaning. Society dictates marriage is the ultimate goal of a heterosexual couple and enforces this institution by attaching benefits. Women are objectified in the media, most disgustingly so in music videos. Women walking down the street at night have to be constantly aware for fear of attack and rape. Most swearing is offensive to women.

Feminism is the movement striving for equality in all aspects of life. Feminism is about choice -- to have children, to get married, to take a husband's last name, to have a career. Feminism is the fight against patriarchal overtones. Feminism the about ending the oppression of women and the violence against them. Feminism is realizing sex and gender are inextricably linked to issues of state, capitalism, class, race, power, politics, religion etc. Feminism is realizing gender is a social construct and does not exist on its own. Feminism is claiming one's sexuality. Feminism is complex and consists of more aspects that I can iterate; this is why one can study anything with a feminist perspective or apply feminist theory.

I love my boyfriend. I would hate life if I had to give up wearing bras and jiggle around all day. Patriarchy frustrates me because it affects everything and sometimes fighting against it seems futile. I want to walk down the streets of Minneapolis and not have my hand on my pepper spray. I want to get married because of the religious aspect but am against the institution. I see myself becoming more radical every day in my quest for equality and the end of oppression. I want children. I wanted to raise my children to be gender-neutral until I realized they would never get by because of the way society demands gender.I get pissed off about the inequalities facing women. I am a feminist.